The close of Day 2 of Frodo’s journey found EP the Hobbit, crying bitterly, atop a boulder strewn hill (think earthy, rusty rocks the size of small trucks) in Hampi.
“What ails the Hobbit today?” asked a surprised Gandalf the Imaginary, “You should be pleased that you did 28 miles in under a week, a significant improvement from the last check point.”
“I was doing so well last week, O great wizard of fitness-achieved-by-sending-unsuspecting-hobbits-on-long-journeys,” sobbed EP the Hobbit. “My day began with eating apples and pomegranate and ended with an energetic walk around the neighborhood. Rivendell was barely a whisper away.”
“I must applaud your determination,” said Gandalf the Imaginary, fully knowing the extent of EP the Hobbit’s laziness and the strength of the superglue attaching her rear to the couch.
“I had barely begun to lose a few grams, when we left for vacation; albeit only a short one for three days. We are only in the middle of it, and in the past two days, I have had five breakfasts, two lunches fit for giants, several pints of beer, lots of deep fried goodness, and one whole banoffee pie,” said EP the Hobbit, mournfully gazing at the tummy which seemed hell bent on preventing her from touching her toes. “The pie was delicious, though.”
“I assume the sins of such gluttony are weighing down the scales,” said Gandalf the Imaginary, upset that not a single pie crumb was saved for him.
“And they are sitting undigested, on my conscience. The vacation is not over, and there are another bunch of celebrations around the corner, Christmas parties to attend, and the New Year to be welcomed. I might as well give up, sell my running shoes and buy Nutella from the proceeds” moaned EP the Hobbit, viciously kicking a particularly craggy boulder, and immediately regretting it.
“Be brave of heart, little Hobbit,” said Gandalf the Imaginary patting EP the Hobbit’s plump shoulder, “There is much to be gained with a fitness regime, even though you may fall off the wagon now and then. New Year resolutions are much better begun in December. Come January, the resolution is no longer a chore, but on its way to becoming a habit.”
“I bow to your wisdom, o great-wizard-who- I suspect-secretly-retires-to- a-life-of-debauchery-after-setting-impossible-tasks-to-his-proteges. January, with its cold bleakness and post-holiday blues is nearly upon us. Let me face it with courage, and in my running shoes. I shall not stumble and falter. I shall survive,” said a pensive EP the Hobbit.
“But for tonight, we still have holidays to look forward to, and good cheer to celebrate.” said Gandalf the Imaginary, picking up his staff.
EP the Hobbit and Gandalf the Imaginary go down the hill to get a pint and some pie.
Note: I am on a quest to Walk to Mordor and back to Rivendell. I track, through my Fitbit, the miles I walk every day. Once I hit the number of miles that the hobbits walked in a day, I blog about it. Next update: after 27 miles.
If you want to join in or learn more, visit Nerd Fitness.